


Old Memories

by dizzaluzion



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-18 23:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16129205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzaluzion/pseuds/dizzaluzion
Summary: Violet struggles to grapple with her feelings for Clementine and how their relationship will be effected if Minerva is alive.





	Old Memories

The night after Marlon and Brody had returned from outside the safezone without Minerva and Sophie was by far the worst day of Violet’s life. Not the day the outbreak began, not the days when she had seen countless of her schoolmates die. The day that she knew the twins weren’t coming back was the day that Violet stopped believing there would be an age without walkers. The day that she had to come to terms with the fact that never again would she help Sophie work on a new project that she was working on. The day that she knew she’d never hold Minnie’s face again and feel like they were the only two people in the world. That’s when Violet stopped hoping.  

She wanted to try, though. For Tenn. But for weeks on end she couldn’t bring herself to leave her room. It was an endless cycle of crying, screaming into the mattress, punching or throwing anything that she could find, or just laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. It was the moments that she felt numb that she hated the most. Where she couldn’t feel anything. The moments where she asked herself that if she was cornered in her room by a horde, whether or not she would make any effort to escape.

Minnie was her rock. She always had been.

Whenever Violet would get angry or sad, Minnie would always be the one to calm her down. “Quit the theatrics,” she would say, and just that was enough to make her smile. Without Minnie able to calm her down anymore, Violet was allowed to reflect on why she was sent to Erickson’s in the first place. Why she was a “troubled youth.” She thought about how she would always sit in her room at home and not want to come out for anybody, and that was why she was brought here. To gain social experience with other kids. She never thought about these things anymore. Not when Minnie was around.

She supposed after a while that Minnie was everybody else’s rock, too. How she could make anybody smile, not just Violet. This is what finally drove her to come out of her room, realizing that she wasn’t the only one hurting. However, Violet didn’t really talk much to anybody for a very long time. After that night, Violet honestly believed that she would never be happy again.

This fact didn’t change when Clem first showed up. When Marlon had burst through the gates carrying her in his arms, with whom she would later find out to be Aj close by his side, her first thoughts were that they would have two more mouths to feed. This girl and her… brother? Had just crashed the first working car she had seen in years, and were drawing walkers to the camp because of the noise. How was Violet _supposed_ to feel about her?

Witnessing her in a fight, however, was a much different story. The way that she took walkers down and made it look effortless just made Violet want to strive to be better. Maybe it was to impress her. She didn’t really know, but it was an extra stab to the gut when Louis critiqued her performance, especially after going above and beyond. But when Clem backed her up, complimenting her work, she felt something that she hadn’t felt in a really long time. It was so unfamiliar that she couldn’t really place what it was, but it scared her just a little bit. So, rather than thanking Clementine for the compliment, she affirmed her statement, something that was rather out of character for her. Louis commented on this, calling them both delusional.

Back at the dorms, Violet had some time to think. She should have been thinking about helping Marlon organize patrols, but instead she couldn’t get this new girl and her little boy out of her head. This little boy, who had already assaulted Violet’s friend. Normally, she would feel disdain towards Clementine, but something about her made Violet feel something akin to admiration. She could take out the knee of a walker and stab it in the skull, turning around to do it again without any flaws, like clockwork. And she could look damn good doing it too. Violet obviously knew that this wasn’t important at all, since by conventional standards none of them looked very attractive. They didn’t exactly have Proactive for their greasy teenage faces, and Violet herself hadn’t bathed in a very long time. But neither had Clementine, so why did it look like she had? Violet was quick to shake this off, disregarding it as probably nothing.

When Clem went fishing with her and Brody, she felt engrossed in everything that came out of Clem’s mouth. She had a certain vibe to her that Violet couldn’t quite place that made her want to listen at the edge of her seat to everything that she said. This was why, when Clem suggested trying to repair her relationship with Brody, Violet listened and did the best that she was ready to do. This was probably why, when Clementine suggested her plan to lure the walkers away from the train station, Louis listened to her, too.

Walking in to the train station see what looked like Clem murdering someone was much more than enough to put Violet on edge. A man that she hadn’t seen come in falling into a pack of walkers? She tried to push his screams out of her mind, although once Clementine explained the situation, Violet felt that she made the right choice. During their game of war after dinner that night, Violet didn’t know why she paid so much attention to everything that Clem said. Especially when Louis asked his question to her. She feigned disinterest, but would find that she was actually waiting with baited breath for her answer.

She didn’t know _why_ she cared so much about her. Why every miniscule detail about her fascinated Violet. But it was enough to consume her thoughts. The only other person she had ever felt this way about, she would come to realize, was Minnie. And she finally knew what to call her feelings towards Clementine. She had a crush.

Annoyed by this revelation, not at Clementine but at herself, she decided that she would distance herself from her. And that was what she _planned_ to do.

And then everything went to shit.

Finding out that Minnie was still alive did not play out how she expected it to. Obviously Violet had dreamed about it, hoped for it. She never saw them die, so they could still be alive, right? That was her philosophy before this information was revealed. She remembered months ago staying up praying, something she hadn’t done in so, so long, asking whoever was out there to return Minerva to her. Just to hold her one last time, to kiss her, to say goodbye. Now, learning that Minnie could still be alive created a pit in her stomach that made her want to throw up. Not because she wasn’t so, so eager to have her in her life again. But because she felt like she had failed. She knew that she should have asked more questions to Marlon, but why would he ever lie to them? She could have done something sooner, and now who knows how they’ve ended up.

It was in these moments where she was drawn to Clem more than ever. Someone who she could still protect, someone who she wouldn’t let herself dissapoint. When the vote was cast and they had to escort them out of the safe zone, a part of Violet wanted to drop everything and go with Clem. She knew she wouldn’t, but what was left for her at the school? What could she do to make Clem not feel let down?

After she heard the gunshots, Violet was running back to Clementine before her brain could process what she was doing. She heard Louis follow closely behind her, and she felt him reach out and grab her arm, indicating for her to slow down and approach quietly. Witnessing this stranger pin Clem down and put a foot up against her neck did something to Violet that she had _never_ felt before. All she saw was red. She drew back the bow, and almost let the arrow fly. If Clementine hadn’t told her to run, she didn’t know what would have happened. Regardless, both her and Louis ran back to the school, Louis taking the lead. Violet was staring at the ground as she ran, her vision blurred by tears. When she got back to the school, she locked herself in her room and let herself cry for the first time in a very long time. She failed again, not being able to protect another person who she deeply cared about.

And then, by some miracle, she came back. Violet was starting to wonder if she really was invincible. Her return didn’t sit well with the other kids, but Violet would prove every one of them that they were wrong about Clem. She could feel it. Clem was a fighter, but there was a softer energy about her. Violet did things with a certain level of intensity, sometimes even recklessness, while Clem thought out every move she made. Violet wondered what it would be like to go inside her mind and see her decision-making thought process. None of her ideas ever seemed bad. 

In the two weeks that they prepared for the raiders’ attack, Violet found herself staring at Clementine almost every time she saw her. Sometimes, even, she would catch Clem staring at her, looking away at the last second before they made eye contact. 

During another one of Louis’ dumb games, Violet’s heart began to race the minute Clem said that she was catching feelings for somebody at the school. Violet looked over at Clementine for a short moment, before letting her gaze fall to the floor. 

Violet sometimes still thought of Minnie, scared and alone. And it made her heart ache knowing that she had failed to protect her. But Violet knew that Minnie would want her not to be sad anymore. To “quit with the theatrics.” Violet really liked Clementine. And while it wasn’t love, the way that she loved Minnie, her heart still fluttered the same way every time Clem looked at her. She would still get the same giddy feeling every time she said her name. And when their hands would brush up against each other while they were walking, Violet would still sweat. So, it may not be love, but it made Violet happy. And Minerva would want her to pursue that. She just knew it. 

Never one to make the first move, she announced that she was going up to the belltower to check their defenses in the hopes that Clem would offer to tag along. Thankfully, she did, and Violet had a hard time trying to feign nonchalance. 

Violet and Clementine shared their first kiss under the stars, and for a minute they didn’t have to worry about walkers, or raiders, or the apocalypse. For a moment, however short it was, they could be kids again, experiencing signs of loving someone, or at the very least caring for someone very, very deeply.

After the final strike against the raiders, Violet felt the familiar numbness she detested so much. The group decided that they would rest before Abel’s trial tomorrow, leaving him out in the cold and going into the dorms. Violet wanted nothing more to kick his teeth into his skull, but he would be questioned tomorrow.

Clem and Violet helped move the sofa blocking the stairway. Nobody said much. They stayed out to make sure everybody got to their dorms. When the final door had been shut, Clem and Violet made eye contact. Something about Clem’s eyes reminded her of Minnie. Not the color, but the light behind them. They both shared hope beyond their eyes, and while that wasn’t why Violet cared so much about Clem, just looking in her eyes made Violet feel a hope that she hadn’t felt in so long. It was foreign to her, and while Violet’s eyes communicated grief, hers communicated optimism, a message that they would overcome this. Violet’s lip began to shake, and in an instant, Clem had wrapped her in the tightest hug she had ever been in. She held onto Clem, her tears soaking her shoulder. It was in that moment she realized that she could only be strong for so long. 

Clem pulled away from the hug and looked at Violet’s tear-stained face, and pulled her in for one more kiss. This one was softer, and longer. If it was meant to reassure Violet that things would work out, and that they would get back who they had lost, which it undoubtedly was, it worked. After that kiss, Violet embraced Clem once more.

“I’m not going anywhere, okay? We’re gonna find them together. It’ll be okay.” Normally, coming from anybody else, these words would sound like empty promises. So many people had left Violet, she couldn’t trust that anybody would be okay. But Clem was the only one that had come back, and damn it if she didn’t have that charm about her, the power behind her words. The thing that made Violet trust her so, so much. 

That night, Clem walked Violet back to her room and laid down in her bed beside her. Violet let Clem wrap her arms around her, and for the first time in a while she didn’t have to worry about protecting someone. For once, she was able to say that she had someone looking out for her as much as she was looking out for them. Violet turned around and buried her face in the crook of Clem’s neck and as Clementine held her in her arms, she knew that, despite it all, they were going to be okay somehow. They had to be.

 


End file.
